Today I was scrolling my mailbox where I found the treasures of feelings. Amongst which some emails were written to my husband when he went abroad, some to my best friend and some for my sister. So in the midst of nostalgia I found something which was really very close to my heart and I shared only with my teacher under whom I completed my thesis. The email which is a treasure to me because it was me and my feelings were pure
“Today is the day for which I was waiting for so long and now it has arrived in my life. Today I got my PhD degree. I am at airport sharing my experience, my feeling to myself.
For me everything happens due to some known or unknown reason. May be l’m alone here so that I can do some chintan on what I have done and now what and how do I have to contribute. Early in morning I was happy & relaxed that finally one stage is over, but as the day is passing I am understanding the myth of being happy because with every passing moment I m visualizing myself away from the shore of the sea and now I have to move forward but alone, as my guru has taught me swimming….. It is my responsibility to swim forward and that too in an ocean.
Things, scenarios, conditions have drastically changed now…Its not because I am setting my parameters with reference to others but for myself to soar high…as what my guru expects from me… To bring out the highest level of energy to do something good. Am I undergoing through a fear pressure???
I am sure you must be thinking that why am I sharing all this. But as I stated earlier that everything happens due to some reason. Yesterday my daughter who is just 4.5 yrs old after returning from school said, ” Mumma do you know what does zero means, I said no you tell me for which she said ‘Zero means Nothing’.” I felt different because I was able to relate it with state of Nothingness. The state which led fear in me and also the pressure of doing something. But that state was frightful as I knew nothing and was moving forward with time. It is the state of Vacuum energy. The state of Zero Conciousness. Zero state is the state of meditation when you have nothing to deviate i.e. your kinetic energy is zero but your potential energy is at its full. It is that state where you are ready to dissipate at your fullest. Hold that state, it is volatile. It is that energy which you were unaware of. From the state of nothing to the state of aloneness is the journey which you travel and that journey gives a lot of lessons of life. Those are the experiences which you will cherish throughout. That is the time when you step forward from your intellect to intuition and then is when human is arising in you.
Osho has quoted a baul Mystic Chandidas in his book ; Intuition, knowing beyond logic where he said ” Sabar upar manas satya; tahar upar nahin. Above all is the truth of man, and above that there is nothing.” Osho decoded it with his thought and said that Once you have reached to your human potential in its total flowering, you have reached home.