Do you really need ‘Me’ Time ?

Many of my readers wrote and asked about how can we get our me time in our busy schedule? Life has become so hectic that we have started missing our own space. I have some questions for those who wanted to know about it. We consciously try to forget the stress caused by professional and personal

Have you ever felt Liberation from your thoughts

  • Happiness which lasted for long
  • Freedom from negative energy
  • Freedom from your self-created negative whirls
  • Awesome while driving your car all alone
  • Being alone you enjoyed your train journey
  • A short flight but it is memorable

If for an instance your answer was yes, you have tasted the fruit of meditation.

We all usually talk about our “Me ” time which has become very hard to get in the present scenario. We try to escape from our daily schedule to find our “me” time so that we can relax in the way we want to. Some like listening to music, some like reading a book, some gadgets freak try to get time with their play station and some like sitting idle with a cup of tea/ coffee in their balcony to see outside. We consciously try to get time so that we can be relieved from stress. Its not necessary that you need your ‘Me’ time to relax yourself. If we rewind a normal day and find out the necessity of ‘me’ time, we will conclude on that it is driven from getting relaxed from the stress and the reason of stress could be numerous. It could be due to not meeting up the expectations of self or others, mismanagement, unable to workout the plan etc. But if we deeply understand it is the conversation within or with others which is not meditative. We are unable to manage our Emotional Quotient and that’s the reason which leads to stress.

To understand more on this concept lets take it forward to the concept of relationship. Why is it that we start believing someone to an extent that we are ready to change our decisions. Why do we surrender to a relationship? Has this ever happened to you? I am sure you must have felt at least for once.. Such relationship leads to utmost satisfaction and belief. This relationship can be termed as Meditative relationship.

This relation can help you to bring yourself closer to you. Try to figure out the conversation which gives you utmost satisfaction and believe in you. Any relationship which helps you to evolve and can make you a better human is a relationship to be treasured. Sometimes friends, colleagues, teacher or your better half can be the source of such conversation which brings you closer to self. Whenever I have a discussion with my guru the conversation reaches to a higher level. I have experienced the blossom of my heart and mind.

The real essence of self time is diluted to ‘Me’ time which is nothing else than Damage and Control of all damaged emotions happened throughout day due to stress. Understand the real concept of Self time…it is the time of internalization i.e. inner search. The moment you will start understanding the difference between healing of emotions and handling of emotions your me time concept will change to ‘Our time’ and you will start enjoying the meditative conversation as then there will be no YOU, only happiness will exist.

 

Advertisements

Festival and life! or Life is Festival?

quote-life-should-be-a-continual-celebration-a-festival-of-lights-the-whole-year-round-only-rajneesh-83-84-53After completing a big a festive season lives are again busy in the same schedules, meetings, targets, profits and losses. We are again busy in the race of earning bread and butter now. Gosh! it was so exciting to be with family and friends, enjoying different colors and also the flavor of togetherness with each other. Some were not able to go back to their native but it feels good when you have friends around who are just like your family. Festive season brings positivism in life.  With each and every passing minute we become so hopeful, that we tend to forget daily tensions, agony and frustrations of every day be it professional or personal, as we want to celebrate festival with fun and frolics, with sweets and happiness.

Have you ever thought that why does it happen? We do it consciously. We give it a conscious effort. Today my mother shared some of the pictures of Diwali celebration with friends and family. Everyone was looking so happy. I felt so good. Positive vibes overwhelmed me and my mind. It is good to be together. A sense of trust fills the heart with joy. quote-life-is-a-festival-only-to-the-wise-ralph-waldo-emerson-56-4-0438

Can we not assume life as festival? Can we not stat celebrating Life. When we can have the sense of acceptance in festivals then why not in life. When we can have the sense of trust which fills our heart with joy during festivals then why not throughout. When we can put a conscious effort to rejoice and celebrate with the power of positivity then why not throughout. Its up to us that we lead our life with HOPE and conscious efforts of celebration or with a normal life where you are just busy in meeting both the ends.

Be happy! Be festive for life!images (6)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotions are the next frontier

1200-151694-list-of-human-emotions

You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.

Why did you spill the coffee?

“Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”

Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.

Had there been tea  in the cup, you would have spilled tea.

Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out.

Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.

So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?” When life gets tough, what spills over?

Joy, gratefulness, peace and humility? Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions?

You choose!

335105569dbb5e05e59e05152c1c7da6--peace-of-mind-quotes-inner-peace-quotes

Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation for ourselves; and kindness, gentleness and love for others.

This was one of the wonderful message which was circulated on whatsapp.

Why is it tough to be natural?

Why do people need a wall of defense to hide their emotions? Why do they think showing emotions will prove them weak? Why? Emotions are the best gift bestowed on humans and why are we so afraid of expressing it. Artists, singers, writers…and all those who are related to some form of art are still able to express it through the form of art, but not everyone. Why are we so busy in meeting both the ends of life that we usually forget our own emotions..

Keeping this view in mind let’s put some thoughts on the emotions and their expressions. These days people are running towards stress management sessions conducted by many societies and organizations. They claim that they will be able to relieve you from stress, agony, frustrations of life. People are joining these organizations where it is claimed that they are going to teach you smiling.

Have you ever given a thought, that a child who is just born, is like a blank page to us but then also he/ she knows to express. Though they do not know any language but they know how to express it. How is it possible that as we grow we tend to forget our natural things and later we want to relearn from someone who doesn’t even know us.download (5)

We are losing our natural Self, the real Self and is living our life in an illusion of happiness.

Kaam, krodh, lobh. Moh and Ahamkaar are the five vikaars of our life. They are known as “thieves” because they steal a person’s common sense. These five thieves are kaam (lust), krodh (rage), lobh (greed), moh (attachment) and ahankar (conceit). It is always expected that ones’ action should be above these 5 inner evils. Can it really happen?

Will you be able to achieve it every time, being a part of a world which is full of competition, agony, greed and lust of success in the form of positions, money, respect from others and sense of accomplishment. Is it really possible? I know many of you will say ‘No, it is not possible at all’

choose-hope-anything-possible-christoper-reeve-quotes-sayings-pictures

Lets make a conscious effort to figure out our HOPE i.e. Higher Order Purpose of Existence. (Concept of HOPE is given by Prof. Subhash Sharma in his book Western Windows Eastern Doors)

images (1)

 

Nothing is everything!

Today I was scrolling my mailbox where I found the treasures of feelings. Amongst which some emails were written to my husband when he went abroad, some to my best friend and some for my sister. So in the midst of nostalgia I found something which was really very close to my heart and I shared only with my teacher under whom I completed my thesis. The email which is a treasure to me because it was me and my feelings were pure

“Today is the day for which I was waiting for so long and now it has arrived in my life. Today I got my PhD degree. I am at airport sharing my experience, my feeling to myself.

For me everything happens due to some known or unknown reason. May be l’m alone here so that I can do some chintan on what I have done and now what and how do I have to contribute. Early in morning I was happy & relaxed that finally one stage is over, but as the day is passing I am understanding the myth of being happy because with every passing moment I m visualizing myself away from the shore of the sea and now I have to move forward but alone, as my guru has taught me swimming…..3-quote-about-zero-is-also-where-everything-starts-nothing-image-black-background It is my responsibility to swim forward and that too in an ocean.

Things, scenarios, conditions have drastically changed now…Its not because I am setting my parameters with reference to others but for myself to soar high…as what my guru expects from me… To bring out the highest level of energy to do something good. Am I undergoing through a fear pressure???

I am sure you must be thinking that why am I sharing all this. But as I stated earlier that everything happens due to some reason. Yesterday my daughter who is just 4.5 yrs old after returning from school said, ” Mumma do you know what does zero means, I said no you  tell me for which she said ‘Zero means Nothing’.” I felt different because I was able to relate it with state of Nothingness. The state which led fear in me and also the pressure of doing something. But that state was frightful as I knew nothing and was moving forward with time. It is the state of Vacuum energy. The state of Zero Conciousness. Zero state is the state of meditation when you have nothing to deviate i.e. your kinetic energy is zero but your potential energy is at its full. It is that state where you are readyzero-as-infinity1 to dissipate at your fullest. Hold that state, it is volatile. It is that energy which you were unaware of. From the state of nothing to the state of aloneness is the journey which you travel and that journey gives a lot of lessons of life. Those are the experiences which you will cherish throughout. That is the time when you step forward from your intellect to intuition and then is when human is arising in you.

Osho has quoted a baul Mystic Chandidas  in his book ; Intuition, knowing beyond logic where he said ” Sabar upar manas satya; tahar upar nahin. Above all is the truth of man, and above that there is nothing.” Osho decoded it with his thought and said that Once you have reached to your human potential in its total flowering, you have reached home.

Knowledge has become malediction now

download (2)While having a cup of tea a thought pondered- ‘ is it due to not understanding the intuition of ours or is it getting overexposed to the intellect or the knowledge given by our religious gurus that we are not understanding what is right and what is wrong. The verdict of Baba Ram Rahim has showcased the dark side of these kind of practices again in our country. There have been so many cases similar now but we are still not understanding the reality. Why is it that people are so ignorant. After the verdict and the nuisance created by his followers in many states there was a post on social media ” When some one gets raped in our country, people do candle light march and when rapist is given punishment, people create havoc in city”.  One more post which drew attention was ” When muslim ladies got relief from triple talaq, everyone praised the decision and when hindu ladies are getting justice ( Baba Ram Rahim Case) then why are people not happy”… Is it the matter of hindu and muslim right now? or is it the case of humanity. A lady lost everything because the person was full of lust and could not control his emotions and did the most heinous task and people are relating it with religion. How shameful it is. India is one of the religion sensitive countries in the world where people give religion the most important thing they posses. pic-for-blog1

These incidents and the foolishness of people bring some thoughts in my mind which I wanted to pen down and discuss in an open forum. What do you understand by Religion?

Religion is the dogma which people are stick to and from which people don’t want to come out due to the fear of punishment. People have the mindset that if they will not do things according to their religion, then they will get punishment from their God. People have the tendency of developing fear for God, instead love for God as if love persists there is no place for fear. Religion teaches duality. Gurus preaching about religion tells about the rituals, pros and cons of the deeds. They teach about Swarg and Nark, Jannat and Dozakh, Heaven and Hell and the judgement day. They teach about various kinds of offerings, people believe on them…they do all sort of materialistic offerings, but are not offering their ego, jealousy, lust and wrong feelings to God.

We should thank to our Bollywood for giving us trend breaking movies like Oh My God, PK, Toilet… ek prem katha and many more where they are showcasing the reasons of breaking these dogmas and to move forward with time and change. What do we do? We praise the movies, give them good ratings, recommend our friends to watch and then….Nothing!.  do we try to implement those changes. I have heard from many people ‘I am a person of Ram, Allah, Jesus, I believe in everyone’… and then there is the irony… If you believe everyone i.e. you do not believe TRUTH because God is not Truth however Truth is God. Be true to yourself.download (3)

Spirituality is the path of knowing the supreme. It is the path of experience of love, compassion, faith and fanaa. It is like mixing two tides together. It is onness with the supreme. Spirituality is understanding non-dual concept. There is no language required to sing for God only heart is required to sing for the supreme. Spirituality is the song of soul, dance of soul for the supreme. It is sailing with the flow of water. Spirituality is the highest form of religion.images (3)

Learn with Independence, Live with Independence and Lead with Independence

India is the land of heritage. On the occasion of Independence day we suddenly start remembering all the patriotic Hindi movies, patriotic songs etc. Suddenly the whole nation color changes to tricolor. Everyone gives messages of patriotism, independence, love, affection, care and above aquote-why-independence-if-the-slaves-of-today-will-be-the-tyrants-of-tomorrow-jose-rizal-81-4-0455ll every one becomes like a jawan of this country. We dress our kids in tricolor, teach them patriotic songs, make them practice to sing ‘National anthem’.

Do you know why? Because on this day we tend to remember that we are citizens of India and all Indians are brothers and sisters. Otherwise this whole country has all different colors but not the tricolor which unites us on 15th August and 26th January.

Today’s generation have labeled these days as ‘ Online Sale’ ‘ Dry Day’ ‘ Long weekend’, if it falls on Sunday ” Ek chhutti Chali gayi Yaar” .  Have we not changed the real meaning of these days? Until we will not respect the independence, we cannot enjoy that.

Celebrating Independence Day is due to history which we have not seen and that is the reason we tend to forget the pains and have changed the real meaning of this day. So let us join together with heart and spirit for the pains which we are suffering day and night like child abuse, rape, child trafficking, restraining women to indulge them in and as sex workers. There are societal atrocities which are rising day by day and the basic reason of this is our thoughts which are contaminated. We are living in Hippocratic era. We know what is right and what is wrong but we do not want to involve ourselves because ‘ it’s not my matter’.

Independence is a seed for your thought.  This is the seed of S- Self Respect, E- Empathy, E-Empowerment and D- Decision making. Plant this seed in your heart and nourish it with your self-evaluation. Talk to yourself. independence-day-image

Just answer one question to yourself whenever you do anything “Are we doing what is right? Is it justifiable to my soul?” The moment you get the answer you will be in the right direction.

Happy Independence Day!

 

Talk to yourself

I wonder how a word Mentor gives immense belief and relaxation to a person during stressful situation. We tend to incline to a person for emotional balance, career growth, personal and professional growth and sometimes it is without any cause. The relation built between two people to satisfy the urge of being mentally relaxed has led to the relationship of Mentor and Mentee.

maxresdefault

It leads to a question. Is it our inability of handling our own situation that we need mentors in our life? Or is it that we start considering a person a mentor when he/ she is the only one to hear our problems. Are we not trying to find a shoulder in our bad times, who can give support and can listen to us without judging.? Does it happen with you? During discussion with many of my friends I have come across a general statement ” Thank God you are there to listen, you are like a mentor to me”. Are we not diluting the real meaning of the word  “Mentor” and making it more resembling to a “Good Listener”.

The reason for this paradigm shift of a ‘Being Mentor’ to a ‘ Good listener’ is that we have stopped enjoying our own company. We have stopped celebrating ‘Aloneness’. Aloneness can help you to find yourself which walking or following a crowd can never happen..0aa9359a28dfee76d3b4718ac32f1b0e--motivational-thoughts-inspirational-thoughts

A Mentor is like an anchor of your Life. Give it a deep thought and figure out who is the real anchor of your life. Lastly I would like to quote Swami Vivekananda’s thoughts ” Talk to yourself once in a day…otherwise you may miss meeting an excellent person in this world”

Be a Mentor to yourself and start enjoying your company.. start listening your thoughts and be true to your feelings. Gradually you will figure out the real anchor of your life and will understand all good listeners are not mentors. Embrace your qualities of Mentor- A mentor is embedded with six qualities and they are

M- Mother Leadership

E- Empathy

N- Nurturing

T- Trustworthy

O- Optimistic

R- Realistic

You may not get mentor everytime but there is one unique person who always wants to talk to you, that’s your ‘SELF’… Be YOU.

 

 

When Thousands Lamps Shine, It is Diwali Time

I am always inspired by your thoughts… ur thoughts keeps me going..

profsubhashsharma

When Thousands Lamps Shine

Subhash Sharma (28.10.2016)

When thousands lamps shine,

All at  a time,

Nature sings a rhyme,

It is Diwali time,

When thousands stars shine,

All at a time,

Nature sings a rhyme,

It is Diwali time

When thousands flowers bloom,

All at a time,

Nature sings a rhyme,

It is Diwali time.

It is Happy time.

View original post

Know yourself- Steps to “Be”

Today just thought of expressing my inner feelings ..Sometimes I feel that why is it so tough to be natural. I have heard so many times from spiritual gurus.. “Don’t try to become…just be”….. It is so easy to say…but whenever I think of implementing it I find it so tough…

download

Its so tough to be what you are..so how to achieve it. Below are the thoughts of mine which I try to implement for understanding of self. It is helping me to figure out my emotions and hope it helps others too.

  1. Evaluation:- Please stop evaluating yourself again and again. There is no point in evaluating our-self repeatedly because we are trying to hear what we want to hear as a feedback
  2. Acceptance:- Acceptance is an art, it takes loads of efforts by people to accept the reality, but its very easy if just hear the first voice which comes from within as it is the purest feeling,just like a dew drop which remains free from the contamination of our own thoughts. So, the moment you hear the voice, understand it and go for the thought
  3. Channelize:- “Remain pure all your life; guard your own honor and never transgress the honor of others. Be very tranquil, but when necessary, harden your heart.”
  4. Be a mentor to yourself.

At last I would like to say to find out #Weber’s fraction of your stimuli, it will help you to evaluate what fraction of changes can change your originality and is changing you from ‘be to become’

Congratulate yourself once you start feeling that you have started achieving it…

Reach out to me on

https://www.linkedin.com/in/gauri-a-khan-phd-

https://www.facebook.com/gauri.a.khan

Relationship- Why is it required

I have recently read a post on Facebook ‘ Many people redeem relationship because they can be used as and when required’. You may laugh on it but actually this has become the irony and it is taking the shape of reality.

What is relationship? It is the way in which two people are connected, i.e. either by blood, or by behavior or thoughts. The relationship between two beings is humanity which in today’s business world is known as Interpersonal Relationship.

It has given such an importance that people are using it as a new technique of being opportunist. Being opportunist is not bad, but making relations just on the basis of getting opportunities clearly states the materialistic reason for making relations and then encashment of the relations. People become materialistic when “You start loving things and using people for your benefit; instead of using things and loving people”.

inspirational-buddha-quotes-and-famous-zen-sayings-images-page-1-relationship-zen-quotesIt is often taught faithfulness is the best relationship one can have. But…is it happening? Do we actually rely ourselves? We suspects ourselves, how can we rely others ? This feeling of non belief, distrust and unfaithfulness has lead to  the thought of ‘why do we need relationship’  We are not satisfied in anything and the reason is we do not believe anyone not even ourselves. We try to find a support everywhere, in the form of friend, a mentor a guide, but do we really have faith on them. Is the samarpan there….

You must be thinking how easy it is to write samarpan.. but so tough to practice. Its easy to preach than to to practice. I will share your load. Here are some steps which can be done for self realization. It is important for self realization before entering into any relationship.

  • What makes you feel comfortable?
  • What makes you feel jealous?
  • What makes you feel happy?
  • What makes you sad?